Does Premarital Counseling Prevent Divorce?
If your relationship is going well, premarital counseling can feel a little unnecessary.
You love each other. You’ve probably already talked about the big things. Maybe you live together, share finances, have survived assembling furniture together, and generally feel pretty confident about this whole marriage thing.
So why go to counseling when nothing is wrong?
Because premarital counseling isn’t supposed to be about finding problems that aren’t there. At its best, it gives couples intentional time to understand the relationship they’re building—and research suggests there may be real benefits to doing that work before marriage.
But does premarital counseling actually prevent divorce?
You’ll see some pretty impressive statistics floating around online suggesting that it does. The actual research is a little more complicated—and, honestly, I think what it tells us is more useful than a promise that counseling can “divorce-proof” your marriage.
First, What Does the Research Actually Say?
Research in this area often looks at premarital education or marriage and relationship education rather than psychotherapy specifically. These programs aren't all identical to premarital counseling, but they share many of the same goals: strengthening communication, identifying patterns, developing relationship skills, and preparing couples for long-term partnership.
And there are some encouraging findings.
117 studies: A large meta-analysis found that marriage and relationship education had positive effects on both relationship quality and communication skills, with somewhat stronger effects on communication. (Hawkins et al., 2008)
14 out of 17: A review of studies that followed couples for at least one year found that 14 of 17 showed evidence that relationship education helped couples maintain relationship satisfaction over time. (Halford & Bodenmann, 2013)
9–20 hours: Another meta-analysis found that moderate-length relationship education programs—roughly 9 to 20 hours—were associated with stronger effects than programs offering only 1 to 8 hours. (Hawkins et al., 2012)
And in a large survey of married adults, those who participated in premarital education reported higher marital satisfaction, greater commitment, and lower conflict. Participation was also associated with lower odds of divorce. (Stanley et al., 2006)
That's a pretty compelling argument for giving your marriage at least a little of the attention you're giving your wedding.
So...Does Premarital Counseling Prevent Divorce?
Here's where we have to be careful with statistics.
One of the most frequently cited studies on premarital education found that participation was associated with higher satisfaction and commitment, less conflict, and lower odds of divorce. (Stanley et al., 2006)
That's encouraging.
But associated with isn't the same thing as caused by.
The study was based on survey data, which means we can't know whether premarital education itself produced those outcomes. Couples who voluntarily seek premarital education may also differ from couples who don't in other ways that influence their marriages.
And not every study has found a divorce-prevention effect.
For example, a randomized clinical trial following couples through the early years of marriage found no overall difference in divorce rates between couples assigned to the PREP relationship-education program and those receiving naturally occurring premarital services. (Markman et al., 2013)
So, can I tell you that completing premarital counseling will make you X% less likely to divorce?
No.
And I think couples deserve a more honest answer than that.
What the research supports more consistently is that relationship education can improve things that matter enormously inside a long-term relationship; particularly communication and relationship skills, with some evidence suggesting benefits for relationship satisfaction over time.
Communication Is One of the Clearest Benefits
A 2008 meta-analysis examined 117 studies and more than 500 effect sizes and found positive effects on both relationship quality and communication skills. The effects were somewhat stronger for communication. (Hawkins et al., 2008)
A separate meta-analysis of 143 evaluations also found evidence that marriage and relationship education can improve couples' communication, including evidence of longer-term effects for some couples. (Blanchard et al., 2009)
But “better communication” is a little more complicated than learning how to use an I-statement.
It's being able to recognize when you're getting defensive.
Knowing what happens when one of you wants to talk and the other wants space.
Understanding what's underneath the argument you're having for the fifth time.
Being able to communicate the softer emotion underneath anger or frustration.
Knowing how to repair after you've hurt each other.
And being able to tell your partner what you actually need instead of hoping they'll eventually figure it out.
Those are skills couples can begin practicing while the relationship is doing well, not for the first time when they're already in crisis.
The Benefits May Last Beyond the Wedding
One of the more interesting questions isn't whether couples feel better immediately after a premarital program.
It's whether any of it sticks.
Halford and Bodenmann (2013) reviewed 17 relationship-education studies that followed couples for at least one year. Fourteen found evidence that relationship education helped couples maintain relationship satisfaction over time.
The results weren't universal. The researchers found particularly promising effects among couples with identifiable, changeable relationship risk factors, while benefits were less consistent among already low-risk couples.
That nuance matters.
Premarital counseling isn't a guarantee that your relationship will remain happy.
It gives you an opportunity to understand your strengths, notice potential vulnerabilities, and develop ways of responding to those vulnerabilities before you're trying to figure them out during a crisis.
Because eventually, life gets complicated.
Careers change. Families grow. Sex changes. Money gets stressful. People experience grief, illness, exhaustion, parenthood, moves, identity shifts, and approximately 700 conversations about whose turn it is to do something around the house.
A strong relationship isn't one that somehow avoids all of that.
It's one that develops ways of navigating it together.
Premarital Counseling Isn't Just Communication Training
Communication is important, but I don't think learning a script for resolving conflict is enough preparation for a lifetime together.
Premarital counseling can create intentional conversations around things like:
conflict and repair
emotional needs
sex and intimacy
money and financial expectations
family-of-origin patterns
household responsibilities
children and parenting
boundaries with extended family
friendships and community
values and beliefs
careers and future goals
commitment
maintaining individuality within a partnership
Some of these conversations might confirm that you're already very aligned.
Others might uncover a difference you've never really had to negotiate.
That's not a failure of premarital counseling. That's the point.
Finding a difference before marriage gives you an opportunity to become curious about it rather than discovering it three years later during an argument when you're both exhausted.
Does the Amount of Premarital Counseling Matter?
There isn't a magic number of sessions that guarantees a better marriage.
There is, however, some evidence that having enough time to actually engage in the work matters.
A meta-analysis examining 148 evaluations found that programs providing approximately 9–20 hours of contact were associated with stronger effects than programs offering only 1–8 hours. (Hawkins et al., 2012)
That doesn't mean every couple needs exactly nine hours of counseling.
It does suggest something pretty intuitive:
One conversation about communication is different from having enough time to understand your patterns, practice something different, talk about uncomfortable subjects, and come back after you've had a chance to try those skills in your actual relationship.
Maybe Preventing Divorce Isn't the Best Measure of Success
This is the part of the research conversation I find most interesting.
Staying married isn't necessarily the same thing as having a healthy marriage.
A marriage can remain intact while the people inside it feel lonely, disconnected, resentful, misunderstood, or stuck.
So instead of only asking:
“Will premarital counseling keep us from getting divorced?”
I think there's another question worth asking:
“What kind of relationship are we trying to build?”
How do you want conflict to work?
How will you make decisions when you disagree?
What does commitment mean to each of you?
How might your childhood and family experiences show up in your marriage?
What happens when one of you needs closeness and the other needs space?
How will you protect your relationship when careers, children, family, stress, or regular life start demanding more from you?
What does each of you need to feel loved, respected, desired, supported—and still like an individual person inside your partnership?
You don't need to be struggling to have those conversations.
In fact, having them while you're connected can make it much easier to be curious and honest with each other.
Premarital Counseling in Cedar Park & Austin, Texas
At The Relationship Space, premarital counseling isn't about searching for red flags, deciding whether you should get married, or giving your relationship a grade.
It's about slowing down long enough to understand what you're bringing into your marriage and being intentional about what you want to build together.
My approach draws from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, systems theory, and structured relationship assessment. I also participate in regular consultation with a Certified Gottman Therapist to support the thoughtful integration of Gottman Method principles into my work with couples.
Premarital counseling at The Relationship Space is secular and inclusive. You don't need to belong to a particular faith tradition—or any faith tradition—to believe your relationship deserves intentional preparation.
Because the goal isn't a perfect relationship.
It's knowing your relationship well enough to take care of it when it isn't perfect.
If you're considering premarital counseling in Cedar Park, Austin, or virtually anywhere in Texas, I offer a complimentary consultation to talk about what you're looking for and whether working together feels like the right fit.
Research & References
Blanchard, V. L., Hawkins, A. J., Baldwin, S. A., & Fawcett, E. B. (2009). Investigating the effects of marriage and relationship education on couples' communication skills: A meta-analytic study. Journal of Family Psychology, 23(2), 203–214.
Halford, W. K., & Bodenmann, G. (2013). Effects of relationship education on maintenance of couple relationship satisfaction. Clinical Psychology Review, 33(4), 512–525.
Hawkins, A. J., Blanchard, V. L., Baldwin, S. A., & Fawcett, E. B. (2008). Does marriage and relationship education work? A meta-analytic study. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 76(5), 723–734.
Hawkins, A. J., Stanley, S. M., Blanchard, V. L., & Albright, M. (2012). Exploring programmatic moderators of the effectiveness of marriage and relationship education programs: A meta-analytic study. Behavior Therapy, 43(1), 77–87.
Markman, H. J., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Ragan, E. P., & Whitton, S. W. (2013). A randomized clinical trial of the effectiveness of premarital intervention: Moderators of divorce outcomes. Journal of Family Psychology, 27(1), 165–172.
Stanley, S. M., Amato, P. R., Johnson, C. A., & Markman, H. J. (2006). Premarital education, marital quality, and marital stability: Findings from a large, random household survey. Journal of Family Psychology, 20(1), 117–126.
This article is for educational purposes and discusses research findings at the population level. Research on premarital and relationship education varies by program, population, methodology, and outcome measured. Participation in premarital counseling cannot guarantee any particular relationship outcome.
